“Winning is the ability to fail and make a quick recovery.”
Phil Stutz is a world-renowned best-selling author and Hollywood psychiatrist. Before moving his practice to Los Angeles in 1982, Stutz worked as a prison psychiatrist on Rikers Island. He’s been called the “Shrink to the Sars” because of his high-profile clients, and his ability to give them tools to overcome fear and roadblocks in their lives.
A key to overcoming fear and achieving success, according to Stutz, is to place something in your life higher than the specific result of an action. For example, if you’re studying for a test, you should have a goal tied with your studying that isn’t related to whether you get an A or an F. “Whether you want to get good grades, whether you want to have a successful business, a good marriage, it doesn’t matter. There’s got to be something higher than the results. If there’s nothing higher than the results your fear is going to eat you,” says Stutz.
One tool Stutz mentions in his OFF RCRD interview with entrepreneur and investor Cory Levy (After School, Internapalooza), is called the reversal of desire. “The normal desire that everybody has is to avoid pain, or if you want to say, it’s to avoid being afraid, avoid situations that scare you, even thinking about them. The tool is called the reversal of desire. Instead of the normal desire to avoid, the reversal of desire says, ‘I’m going right into the fear.’” Stutz continues, “If you approach fear aggressively and go right into it and that includes the circumstance that frightens you, fear actually shrinks. If you avoid fear, if you back away from it, if you run away from it, you avoid the situation, your fear gets bigger.”
“Worrying is a complete waste of time.”
While all of us worry to some degree, we also know it doesn’t get us anywhere. But what does? According to Stutz, moving past our worries and doing something about them not only helps us rise above worrying, it leads to knowledge. “Action breeds wisdom. You think wisdom comes from studying and all that. It’s okay. You get something from it, but it’s action itself. The action puts you in the middle of the world.” So if you’re worried about approaching a pretty woman to ask her out on a date, you will gain information and wisdom by taking action and approaching her. If you just walk away because of fear, that fear grows larger.
Not every action leads to success, and that’s okay. In fact, failure may actually lead us closer to success based on how we deal with a failure after it happens. “Highest achievement isn’t succeeding; it’s not avoiding failure. The highest achievement is to fail and recover quickly which requires a lot of things but mostly determination and the idea that I actually can recover from this.”
Are you determined? Take action now and listen to the full conversation between Phil Stutz and Cory Levy only on OFFRCRD.com. New episodes are published each Tuesday. Connect with us on Twitter @OFFRCRD.
In the interview, Phil Stutz and Cory Levy talk about:
- Experiences Phil has had to work with successful actors and billionaires and the problems that they encounter
- The impact of the fear of failure
- Tools for dealing with fear and how to position your sights on things higher than your career-based goals
- And a lot more!
Cory asks Phil Stutz “what’s it like at the top for some of your clients?”
Phil shares the story of a talented actor whose career ended because he was fearful of auditioning
How anyone can approach running towards fear instead of away from it
Phil answers, “What would you say the biggest fear young people try to avoid?”
Phil discusses the dynamic evaluation. “Put yourself in motion first in your own life..”
Breaking out of the merit system and habits that are holding you back
Why you should seek advice from people who are older than you, and why they inherently want to help you succeed
How younger people should deal with failure
Advice for someone who has just failed
What we should all be doing during breaks from our work or business
How you should go about finding a spouse and what’s needed from each person in a relationship
The most ineffective things people do in relationships
Guest question from the audience